Wonderful detailed feedback...
This feedback can be found at www.bdsaime.com under 'My Experience with Nanny Alice'.
(I can't link it here as the file is too big)
INTRODUCTION
* ABDL fantasies
I, for my part, am clearly more of a Diaper Lover. I've always considered that I'm not an Adult Baby, but I tend to reconsider. Accessories such as a bib or pacifier don't interest me. Well, maybe a pacifier gag could... But regression in the psychological and emotional sense, speaks to me much more. Something to explore in the future maybe?
Anyway, I love diapers.
I wrote in my article on Mistresses Blanche and Euryale that I was planning to allow myself a short stay in a nursery in London to ease my little sorrows.
More than anything else in the BDSM world, being in diapers suggests to me repair, tranquility, calm. A softness all the more appreciable as it is imposed on me. The diaper like a giant bandage, the materialisation of affection, attention, to me.
The very softness of the material of the diaper also is so appealing. It is smooth, both warming and cold. Its thickness excites me a greatly too. Not to mention its whiteness. The purity of immaculate white attracts me, like other consumables of the same colour.
As I already wrote in my article on Olympe Chantelouve, to feel this caring thickness coming to smother my violent and impulsive penis, is a great source of excitement for me. The feeling of the physical constraint on my most beloved device, mixed with a deep, carnal consolation, in contact with this material of which only the sounds of rustling are enough to make me lose it... well, I love it.
In addition to this physical and psychological pleasure at the contact of a disposable diaper, there is also a beautiful part of humiliation for me. Something which, in this context, obviously pleases me. I also think that this humiliation that I feel is the "control" part of myself, the part that judges others and judges myself, in comparison with the standards.
* The nursery of Nanny Alice
I like big concepts, in these meetings with professionals. Thus, I was looking for a BDSM nursery. A place specially held to welcome adult babies and other fetishists. There are a lot of such places in the English-speaking world. My Google searches quickly led me to the website of Nanny Alice, located in London.
Being much more of a diaper lover than Adult Baby, it took me a few seconds to adapt to the pink and very childish spirit of her website. But that didn't stop me from being charmed by its very personal side, and above all, by all the involvement and passion that can be felt through this virtual showcase.
There's a lot to read and I've read a lot. I visited all the photo galleries as well, and spent a lot more time on the ones that corresponded to me the most.
Very quickly, through the pictures, you can see the impressive equipment that its owner has. She doesn't only deal with Adult Babies or even Diapers Lovers, but also Sissies for example; while offering, as a side feature, more classical SM practices.
When I entered her nursery for the first time, I wanted to take a two minutes break, to scan all this environment and admire it. There were so many things! But Nanny Alice was talking to me, so I couldn't have the rudeness not to look at her and be more interested in her place than in her.
I think her nursery is perfect: it is not very big, but it is enough. It creates a real "cocoon" atmosphere that you couldn't find in a more open space. I was amused to see how well organised everything was. I was impressed to see how much of everything she has to take her clients to the destination of their fantasies.
Wherever you look, all you will see is sweet colorful stuff that makes you want to immerse yourself in it. I already knew Willy Wonka's chocolate factory, now I know Nanny Alice's nursery.
* Nanny Alice
Nanny Alice, like the vast majority of pro dommes I've seen, wears the adjective professional, in "professional mistress", perfectly well.
Her organization and the very straightforward manner in which she handles everything before the session reveals a long experience of dealing with clients not always that well-behaved, and certainly with little consideration for her as a person. However, there is a clear feeling that she cares above all about the client's experience, that it should be as soothing and smooth as possible. And of course, once in the session, you feel that she is clearly involved, she is there with you and for you.
As mentioned above, it was very tempting for me to explore my ABDL fantasies with her, as her interest and passion for the subject matter is obvious. It is so much easier to let it go with someone who also dives into your little fantasy lake.
Nurse, babysitter, mother figure... Nanny Alice can wear many hats in these games. But she is also able to take a 180deg turn in the role she plays, with an outfit right out of a Playboy magazine of the great era.
Nanny Alice shows a very calm nature. She expresses herself distinctly, never with more words than necessary.
She leaves me with some mystery because I find it very difficult to understand her. I am not able to see what comes from the role and what is the real her, before and during and after the session. It is certainly very naive of me to try to distinguish so much between this supposed role and this supposed true her, though. Both feed off each other.
BEFORE THE SESSION
* Logistical problems
I've never had such a hard time getting to a session.
First of all, I make the mistake of going to the wrong airport. I went to Orly, instead of Roissy. I never fail to impress myself. When I came back from Warsaw Prison, I had already tried to board on the wrong plane. Now it's the airport. I'm waiting for the day I'll land in the wrong country...
It was only after burning my tongue with my coffee and then spilling it on the floor that I noticed on the departure display that there was no plane to London. It still takes me two minutes to realise that I had come to the wrong place.
Bummer. Luckily, when I have a session abroad, I always like to plan very widely, in case something unexpected happens. It was 9am in France, the session was scheduled for 2pm in England, and the time difference here was in my favour. I didn't want to cancel the session either... even if it means incurring additional costs, as long as things go as planned. Also, I didn't want to have the bad etiquette of same-day cancellation from the new client.
No choice, I'm considering the Eurostar. I look at the times, it fits, I buy my ticket online. I have to give up my hotel at the same time, the airport originally planned being an hour and a half away from the train arrival station. So I book another hotel. Obviously, no refund is possible for the first one, nor for the plane I never took, not to mention the taxi that was already booked and that I never took either.
My hotel was in the centre of London, extremely expensive for the quality of the service. London is Paris at its worst in this regard. My television wasn't even working. Fortunately, the bathroom was very clean, which is the most important thing for me in this kind of context. I consider my hygiene to be the first and most important thing I have to do before a session.
* Rencontre with Nanny Alice
Anyway, I'll skip the technical details, here I am at Nanny Alice's nursery, on time.
She let me in, I try to keep a relaxed look and a soothed smile. As always, I was actually quite tense, but I know that our physical attitudes can influence our emotions, for better or worse. Looking calm makes me feel calmer, so I look calm when I can control it.
Right away, and before my shift to the bathroom to undress, I have to answer a small questionnaire in front of Nanny Alice, sitting, pen in hand, glasses on the tip of her nose. Questions about my preferences (in addition to email exchanges), health, hygiene. I was already in erection, strong erection from that moment. I couldn't help but think about what was waiting for me, and the precious collision of the inner side of the diaper against my penis swollen with hope and attention.
An erection that would not falter once for more than four hours... Except at the very end, when I was supposed to come. But I'm saving that embarrassing moment for myself for the end of this article :-) .
Once Nanny Alice had the information she needed, I isolate myself in the bathroom, then I have to join her naked with a towel around my waist, so that the session can begin.
THE SESSION
It was a four-hour session. Two hours of "active" interaction with Nanny Alice, and two hours where I would be left alone, tied up, taking all my passive pleasure, enclosed in one or more diapers.
Beforehand, I had specified to Nanny Alice that I loved more than all the thickness of such an item, to feel my penis compressed, imprisoned in the gentlest of ways. I had specified this to allow her to seize the approach of my fetishism.
* Getting into diaper
So it is naked with a towel around my waist that I join Nanny Alice, who then invites me to lie down on a changing table. She then removes the towel and discovers my penis swollen like never before and giving each of its letters to the word erection.
She briefly runs her hands over my body, and I am already shivering very hard, very ticklish that I am. We discuss a little bit, we'll talk about nationalities and cultures. I did not fail to pay homage to the cliches that foreigners have about the French, showing a certain arrogance about the French culture compared to the English culture :-).
Penis still free, Nanny Alice ties my hands above my head. I was lying on my back, my arms then made an oval.
I see her grabbing a first diaper, and I'm already breathing harder than usual, very excited. She drops the diaper still folded -that so sexy rectangular shape- on my penis. She puts it down falsely negligently. I get agitated and moan. I don't believe that there is a simple physical sensation, of touching a material, that excites me more than this one.
The very serious things then begin: I have to lift my buttocks so that she can slide the diaper under me. Then the traditional stuff follows, including the application of talcum powder. It's something that clearly leaves me neutral, but I can hear that it's necessary.
This first diaper not yet sealed, Nanny Alice comes to interpose an insert. She knew that for me, the thicker it is, the more delighted I am.
The insert extends all the way down to cover my penis. Very quickly, she encloses the entire thing and seals the diaper. The pleasure is immense, my comfort is complete and my relief is on the right track. Although I am tied up, I have the sensation that I can breathe better, even though I am now dressed with my penis restrained by these soft walls. I feel both lighter and more contained. A little angel in his white linen.
There's a mirror on the ceiling just above me, allowing the little babies to look at themselves. It's not something I particularly like but it doesn't bother me either. Anyway, it's still easy to ignore it when you want to.
* Getting into diaperS
On the other hand, it was less easy to ignore the second diaper that Nanny Alice was about to put on top of the first one, which itself was suffocating the insert, all that pretty gang of sweetness asphyxiating my penis.
Not one diaper, but two. Thicker and thicker, just writing it down makes me lose control. Beyond the sensations already described, it's also a real pleasure to feel this important thickness at the junction of my two thighs. I couldn't totally press my thighs together if I wanted to.
Nanny Alice even does me the honor of using a rather rare diaper, the privilege of the visitor who comes from far away. I cannot remember, however, if it was the first diaper or the second one.
Anyway, my Nanny of the day poses this second diaper, over the first. I don't miss a second of the process of this act. The sound of the little adhesives sealing the whole thing, then her precious hand going through this big white package.
I then do everything I can to seize the moment, realise my luck, and let myself be fully penetrated by this pure pleasure. I don't know why these diapers that hold me tight, that constrain me like an oppressive second skin, give me such a feeling of well-being, such a relaxation. But here is one of those mysteries whose resolution is quite optional.
I have the impression that I could explode in the area of my penis. I intellectually explode the moment I realise that this insert and these two diapers would be thick enough to contain this physical explosion, if it was to happen. Explosion-ception. When diapers rape my mind.
* Magic wand and other pleasures
I'm writing this article six months after the experience, so the chronology and the details are a little bit confusing for me.
Anyway, I know that I was then gagged for most, if not all, of the session. When I communicated my preferences to Nanny Alice, that's how I had idealised my scene: diapers, tied up, gagged.
Being gagged is, for me, almost essential. I find it hard to feel constrained, even tied up, without a gag. Whether it's a dedicated accessory, a cloth, a firm hand, adhesive tape, the sealing of my mouth clearly contributes to the joy of my little heart. Advantage given to the firm hand and adhesives of all kinds.
Nanny Alice is then armed with an accessory that it is always pleasing to see in the hands of the person who immobilised you: a Magic wand.
Through my layers of diapers, she makes me vibrate as only my dreams can make it. It was an endless loop: the strong vibrations above my imprisoned penis only inflated it more and more, while my inflated penis colliding with the white smooth walls only kept this excitement running.
There are always ambivalent feelings during such a teasing. I want to free myself, I want to ejaculate, but at the same time this state of such great feverishness, completely submitted to my pure feelings, is so pleasant. Also, the power of these emotions that run through me only reinforces the feeling of dependence on Nanny Alice, which is obviously pleasant. I feel like an object, even more an object than her Magic wand, whose magic couldn't work any better.
So, I enjoy waddling around, and gesticulating the underside of my belt, like the quiet child who struggles without any desire to escape. The only real desire is to cause even more friction between my most intimate physical self and the inside of my diapers.
I am not standing and yet I dance better than ever, I am lying down and yet I feel like floating. My diaper has become a rocket and I am leaving reality.
* The improvised pee
Back to reality, the pleasure of frustration ends, and Nanny Alice is going to make me move to lie down from now on on a bed, where I will spend the next two hours, constrained of pleasure.
So I get up, in order to join this large bed with barrier located at the other end of the room. Nanny Alice asks me if I would like to drink a glass of water. I knew that she particularly liked to see her submissives pee in their diapers. It was something I had never done before, and it didn't attract me any more than that, at least not beyond my eternal appetite for curiosity.
I don't remember whether we openly discussed peeing in the diaper when I drank two large glasses of water in front of her. But the fact is that I wanted to urinate in my diaper, both for the experience and to please her.
My pleasure in pleasing her was too rushed, I had drunk far too much. About thirty minutes later after being laid up in bed, tied up (see part below), I'm going to experience a stomachache that was unprecedented in my young life. Very big pain, worrying pain. I will tell Nanny Alice, who will then untie me to allow me to take a position on the ground to facilitate the evacuation of all this water.
It is a success, and I urinate in my diapers, with immense pleasure. Pleasure to relieve my bladder, as much as to feel this warmth -pleasant I admit it- going through my skin and coming to settle down in these white walls that I like so much. It was a first for me (as an adult, at least). I am moaning, I am taking pleasure in this and I am showing it. I'm very happy to have experienced this premiere in the presence of a person who enjoys it so much.
Besides, Nanny Alice makes me want to explore more, to go further, in these ABDL fantasies, including some that I find a little hard to accept. I must confess that I wouldn't say no to the idea of finding myself as a Sissy in diapers, under her control. With lots of pink, lots of satin and frills... things that are so unfamiliar to me, and whose conquest attracts me as much for the humiliation as for the joy of transgression. I know that I will return to see her one day in session, and it will certainly be for such an atmosphere. Too bad I don't have the unlimited money cheatcode.
Anyway, I had drunk too much in a very short time to make sure I would pee during the session, it worked, but not without consequences. This stomach ache will come back at the very end of the session, and judging by everything I urinated in the toilet after those four hours, it's certainly also what prevented me from ejaculating.
I'm still glad I made that diaper pee!
* Tied up in bed
This big pee-pee told above took place during the two hours I was tied up in bed. Two hours of great pleasure, during which Nanny Alice came back from time to time, checking that everything was fine, not without exciting me more and more.
After my pee, I was able to experience the pleasure of being changed, and to get to know new diapers, bright white and fresh diapers.
Something played a capital role in the immense pleasure I took in those two hours. Nanny Alice had the good idea to weave a kind of rope net right above my diaper attached to the bars on each side of the bed. The ropes were intertwined. My hands were handcuffed to the bars on each side as well, above this net. The weight of my hands resting on the ropes applied a constant pressure on my diapers.
During those two hours, I had no choice but to put this continuous pressure on my penis through the layers of my diapers. I was alone, and the device made it impossible for me to escape this frustrating pleasure. It was deliciously cruel from Nanny Alice. I sometimes took a malicious pleasure in being under this pressure above my flesh engine, just as I was sometimes exasperated and exhausted by this frustration that I couldn't escape from.
She told me that it was the first time she had the idea of such a thing. I hope for her other clients with the same profile as mine that she will give them the same gift. This net of constant excitement gave a whole new dimension to my two hours lying and strapped in this bed. Also, I felt a strong humiliation, completely submissive and driven mad by this little mechanism she had put in place. I had gone from being a man to a thing. Her thing.
At a little less than an hour from the end, Nanny Alice had come back to check this cruel mechanism, and by the same time closed the top of the bed, which had thus become a cage. This closed cage above me had no physical impact on me, but yet the simple fact of now seeing bars above me was enough to make me feel even more quiet, even more protected and safe, so to take even more pleasure in my fate.
I'm still wiggling more and more in my diapers, I sometimes curse my forearms which have no choice but to put all their weight on the net that takes me so far in my mind. I loved those two hours. I'm pretty sure I've had a few micro-naps, I had slept very little the night before, I had an off-beat sleep at the time. So I lost track of time, I was sometimes in a total mental fog, with no external stimulation other than being hugged by my diapers and that pressure.
I do not regret having chosen this formula: two hours of interaction with Nanny Alice, and two hours left to my fate. It was the perfect formula for me. I like the quiet, Those 2x2 hours fed each other. My isolated moment all by myself highlighted my past interactions with Nanny Alice and her check-ups, while my two hours with her at the beginning of the session allowed me to let go completely when I was isolated, with no other ambition than to wait until the end of the session, having already been pleased just beforehand by Nanny Alice's attention towards me.
Still today, I can thank this smart and talented domme for allowing me to live these two hours in such conditions. They are hours out of time, out of reality, where I disappear and at the same time exist beyond what I am.
* Impotence
These endless stimulations for four hours were supposed to lead to a final pleasure, that of ejaculation, physical release. I had an intense erection for those four hours in a row. I was still in a strong erection in the hands of Nanny Alice, when she had fun tormenting me more and more, a few seconds before allowing me to free myself from my torments.
But as soon as I was able to grasp my penis myself, poof, it falls down and it doesn't come back anymore. The more I tried to shake that poor thing, the more I had a huge stomachache that came back to bother me, too. After the first ten seconds, it started to become awkward in front of Nanny Alice, and it became almost impossible for me to reverse that wave. I tried for way more than ten seconds though, and Nanny Alice did what she could to make it easier for me.
But nothing helped. So I experienced the impotence of the SM session version, a first for me. It took me three hours to get over it after that, it was a bit humiliating. But it's okay! Though, clearly, my bladder played a role in that. Right after the session, once in the bathroom, I urinated like never before in my life, in pain, and after that my bladder still hurt.
On the other hand, this final breakdown took nothing away from all the pleasure I took in those four magical hours. I travelled in my mind, and my white diapers turned me into a white cloud, light and soothed.
When I came out of the bathroom, all dressed up, my emotion of the moment prevented me from expressing myself as much I would have liked to Nanny Alice. Everything went too fast, I had the impression that I had not thanked her as much as I would have liked, that I had not had the opportunity to say goodbye to her as I would have liked. Before even realising it, I had already returned to reality, outside, in the street.
AFTER THE SESSION
I took an Uber to a Fish & Ships restaurant. I sent a small email to Nanny Alice, to express what I had not been able to express a few minutes earlier. She replied, it was very nice and cute, so I was all happy and cute.
I enjoy my meal, then go back to the hotel.
Exhausted, I quickly fall asleep, but not before I've enjoyed myself and do what I hadn't managed to do at the end of the session. I still had the images in my head, and the emotions I felt were still in me. So I had a lot of fun and took a lot of pleasure.
I slept for a few hours before waking up in the middle of the night. I had to catch a plane in the morning, so I decided to take advantage of my stay abroad, and visit London by night. Sleeping, I could do it as well in France. I really like walking the streets at night, I feel alone in the world!
I walk twenty minutes and come across a 24/24 McDonald's. I settle down and have a fat night meal. I have fun comparing the differences in the menus with what we have in France. I stand in front of the bay window overlooking the street, very active despite the time of day, and I observe the movements, the people, listening to my music. I stayed there for over an hour. One of those occasions when I manage to content myself with the present moment, and nothing more.
Five o'clock in the morning, the daylight already is approaching, with a different time zone from ours, in France. I resume my walk and come upon Kensington Gardens. I crossed it to get back to my hotel, I was all alone from start to finish! It was beautiful, and I was pleasantly surprised to be so alone, in such a place, in the centre of London.
The previous day's session still left me in a state of intellectual tranquility that I struggle to find outside of such intense moments. I felt good, I was able to feel more than think, and that makes me feel good, just good.
CONCLUSION
As a curious person who loves to explore new sessions with dominatrixes I don't know, I do not feel like looking for something new when it comes to exploring pure ABDL fantasies. I have found the place where I want to be to live this part of me.
Nanny Alice makes it her specialty, and with good reason.
The moment I lived with her will stay with me for a very long time as a synonym for gentleness, letting go and constant stimulation. A stimulation that is more pleasant than exhausting. Very regularly, I can't help but think of that rope net she wove above my diaper, to impose on me a permanent pleasure of submission. Submission to her, submission to my frustration, submission to my pleasure.
Beyond my pleasure, meeting such a professional, who is passionate, involved and talented, leaves me dreaming.
I can't wait to dream again, compressed in her soft diapers.
